i've been misunderstood for all of my life

i defy anyone to tell what song that title is from WITHOUT googling it. and if you do i will totally dry hump your leg.

i have a dirty secret. i am completely ego centric for like 4 days every month. so normal this is okay because i can just hole up in my cave and hate on the world for not properly cowing to my every whim. HOWEVER this month's 4 days fall right as we're gearing up for my bff's wedding. so yeah i'm having my periodic psychotic break with reality right in the middle of a huge event that is so not about me and it's a struggle to keep perspective and not throw a very irrelevant tantrum. does that make sense? probably not. i'm trying to say that in the front rational part of my brain i am all excited about my best friend taking this journey into a new part of her life, honored to be a part of it and trying to do whatever i can to make this go as smoothly as possible while at the same time trying to squash the small voices in the darkest recesses of my mind trying to get me to be a psycho bitch when little things don't go "my way". there is no "my way" this isn't my show, i'm a bit player!

it really makes sense in my head trust me. i AM looking forward to a reprieve from weddings for a while though, no offense to any of the brides and grooms i have stood with but i am so burned out on weddings. uncle j and uncle b are at least another year or so out before they will be "permitted" to tie the knot and i told cat that as much as i love her IF she gets remarried anytime in the next 3 years i'm going to strangle her.

i need to be in a headspace where i have nothing to stress over except my own stuff: house hunting/selling, writing, mommying, wifeing. ect ect. to that end the boy's last day of school is friday and he goes to art camp in july yay! he's excited. now that PKGST is potty trained i can look into headstart for her. that will give me a few mornings a week next fall/winter/spring to myself and MAYBE just MAYBE i can really get stuff cranked up and moving. my house is a mess figuratively and literally and i need to get things back in order everywhere.

in relation to my cyclical 4 day break with sanity i spent way more time than is decent brooding over MM's use of my vehicle while i am stuck with his loser cruiser, there were actual tears shed. there's really nothing i can do to alleviate this condition i can't take yaz or ocella or yasmin because of possible interactions with my nuvigil or more likely the latter canceling out the benefits of the formers.

whatever. so anyhoo i hope that gets everyone caught up to life in angipants' head.

i think that is all i've got to say about that