Don't Come Crying to Me

okay so a couple of things.

first i ignore rules of grammar, spelling, capitalization and punctuation, usually, so don't waste your precious time by pointing these things out. "Why yes, I do realize that blogger has a spell check. I didn't use it because it's friggin boring."

second i do try not to get serious or babble on about deep issues, though occasionally i will.

third if you can pick out the theme to all of my post titles you will maybe get a cookie or a nonsarcastic "way to go skippy" at the very least.

lastly, thanks for coming, who are you and why are you reading this? you must be bored.



Friday, November 26, 2010

i'm beginning to think that i've been deceived

doesn't fit my mood but i'm listening to the song and i needed something to put there.

i don't hate holidays so much as the inevitable one thing that always has to fuck shit up. last year it was the unwelcome presence of a child predator we have the very unfortunate displeasure of being related to and forced to socialize with by his parents. so this year yay no kiddie toucher but instead we have the other side of the family (read: mine) embroiled in a war over pets. seriously i would love for us to have ONE holiday where everyone was happy and not faking it.

i'm tired of faking it on holidays. yesterday went great until i was reminded how everything sucks. it doesn't, that is just one stilted point of view. every 2 years or so there is a blow up from this particular set of relatives at sometime during the year. and it's always absolute and they are always the wronged party. i'm just exhausted by it. somehow i end up being the one that gets called upon to choose a side and i never ever do, i just curl up and cry. well yesterday i was called upon to do it again and i didn't have the luxury of falling apart. i had to strap on a smile and finish cooking and go celebrate. last night as i was going to sleep i asked for guidance in the hold situation. i know i will get it, i always get what i ask for sometimes it just takes a while but as i was falling asleep i got angrier and angrier about the whole thing. angry that my own feelings are never considered, respected or validated in any of these explosions, not even after the fact. i am merely expected to listen and agree.

i am way too old for this shit and would have argued had my day of preparation been finished. as it was i was still getting things ready.

i love my family more than anything and sometimes i wish they loved each other as much as i love them. that is all.

ps. pants is thankful for the little sweet voices playing imagination games in the background of my typing. that is what keeps me sane and keeps me waking up every day.
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2 comments:

  1. Kymberly Foster SeaboltMarch 22, 2011 at 6:12 AM

    I have no wise words but just wanted to say that, as you already suspected no doubt, you are not alone in the family situation

    ReplyDelete
  2. Angi PantsMarch 22, 2011 at 9:02 AM

    thank you kymberly for the kind words and thoughts. welcome to the insanity ;)

    ReplyDelete

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